If You Asked Me To
by r2roswell
Summary: Takes place shortly after episode 11. Ricky has always been the womanizer but what if he truly had a change of heart and came to see that him having sex with everyone wasn't all that worth it afterall? Mostly Band Geek Ricky/Amy with some other ships.
1. Chapter 1

He casually walked up to the front door, his hands in his pockets. He knew this wasn't going to be easy but what was now a days? Not much. His life had always been a complicated one and he never complained but as with most things, life had a way of turning out for the worst. He dreaded coming here but deep down he knew he was doing the right thing. Not only would it benefit his own dealings in the situation but he secretly hoped it would benefit hers as well. He took a deep breath and then knocked on the front door. He had expected her to answer but was surprised to see that it was him instead.

"Underwood," said Mr. Juergens. "What do you want?"

Ricky looked around before looking at George Juergens.

"Well," said George, waiting impatiently.

"I was wondering if Amy was home. I was hoping I could talk to her."

"If she wanted to talk to you I'm sure she would have called."

"Well she hasn't. I've tried calling her but she hasn't returned any of my calls."

"Then that should tell you something."

"Mr. Juergens, I know you hate me and I –," said Ricky

"No," George interrupted him, "I don't hate you Ricky: I despise you."

"Do you despise your daughter too because I'm not the only one who is guilty here?"

"You are on thin ice with me all ready, kid do you want it to break?"

Ricky deeply wanted to hit Mr. Juergens but he held back. If he got in a fight with Amy's dad it would defeat his purpose for coming in the first place and so he took a deep breath and calmed himself.

"No sir," Ricky replied, "I just really need to talk to Amy and I promise the sooner I talk to her the sooner I'll get out of here."

George looked at Ricky in disgust. "Come in," he said to him, "I'll check upstairs."

As George went up to check on Amy, Ricky took the opportunity to look around the house. He saw pictures of Amy and her family hanging on the walls. There were a few of Amy when she was a little younger and one of Amy holding baby Ashley with her mother's help. Ricky couldn't help but smile.

It was then that Amy came down stairs with Ben right beside her.

_Just great_, Ricky thought to himself.

"What are you doing here, Ricky?" Amy asked.

Ricky glanced around a bit before focusing on Amy, "I was hoping we could talk."

"Haven't we talked enough?" she replied.

"Maybe but I wouldn't have come if this wasn't important."

Ben suddenly got curious, "You're not backing out are you? I thought you wanted to be involved?"

Ricky looked at him, "No, I'm not backing out," he said in the cold tone he used with people.

"Then what do you want to talk about?" Ben asked.

"Do you mind, this has nothing to do with you," and then Ricky looked at Amy, "Amy, please."

Amy looked at Ricky and then at Ben and back to Ricky again. She could see in his eyes that he was not leaving until he told her what he had to say. She then turned back to Ben.

"It's okay Ben. I'll see you on Monday at school okay."

"Wait, not tomorrow? We always spend Sundays together."

"I don't think we'll get in trouble for missing one Sunday."

Ben shrugged, "You're probably right. You sure you don't want me to stay? I could stay if you wanted."

Amy smiled thankful for the thought, "I think I'll be okay besides if anything happens my dad is around."

Ricky gulped but no one noticed.

"Okay," Ben said giving in. "I love you," he said with a smile.

"Me too," was all Amy replied much to Ricky's surprise. He was so certain that Amy would have said the sentiment back.

When Ben left, Amy got down to business.

"So what are you doing here," she again asked as she moved to a seat in the living room.

Ricky was unsure on what to say. He had been thinking about this moment since Thursday but now everything seemed to have gone blank in his mind so instead he simply followed Amy and took a seat on the same chair that he sat in when he had first come over to her house.

"So I guess you heard hu," Ricky began. "About me being crazy?"

"Is that why you weren't at school on Friday?"

Ricky just nodded. "I don't know how you do it, Amy, I really don't."

"Well I didn't have much choice. I couldn't go to my grandmothers; slut school was out of the option so I had to go back."

"Still though, I think now I really know how hard it's been for you. I could deal with being the guy that got you pregnant but now that people think I'm crazy I don't know I feel like I'm losing it."

Amy took a deep breath, "You're not crazy, Ricky. So what if you have someone to talk to at least you're getting help right, doesn't that count for something?"

"I guess." Ricky took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts, "I want to tell you why I've been going to therapy."

"Ricky, you don't have to."

"I know but that's the reason why I came. After everything that I've put you through, you deserve some kind of honesty. When I said I wanted to be involved with you and the baby I meant it and I want you to know why."

"Okay," Amy said flatly.

"When I tell you this, I'll understand if you don't want me around. I'm used to people turning me away because of it but I really do want to be involved so I don't make the same mistakes."

Amy nodded sympathetically, "I know," was all she said in a near whisper.

It was then that Ricky picked up on her cues. _She knew_, Ricky thought. _Damn it she all ready knew._

Ricky's voice rose up a notch, "Who told you?"

"Told me what?"

"You know what, Amy! What, is that the rumor going around school now? That I was- that I was-" He couldn't even bring himself to say it.

"No," Amy told him trying to get him to calm down, "it's not going around school."

"Then who was it?" Ricky asked knowing it was a stupid question because he knew who it had been. Ricky looked down at the floor, "Lauren," was all he said. Ricky had remembered the night he had with Lauren. They talked and somehow, for some stupid reason, it had been Lauren to find out that he had been sexually abused. And only later had it become known that Lauren's dad has been his shrink for all these years.

"Yeah," was all Amy said.

Ricky nodded, "Figures. You're friends can't keep their mouths shut ever."

"I know that."

"Then why do you still hang out with them?"

"Because they're my friends and no matter how much they mess up they know I'll always forgive them. No one is perfect, Ricky, its okay to mess up every now and then. The important thing is that you look past it and try to make things better."

Ricky couldn't help but smile at Amy, "Since when did you get so wise?"

Amy shrugged, "Since I got pregnant."

Ricky simply nodded his head. "So have you decided what you're going to do?"

"Do?"

"Yeah, are you going to give the baby up for adoption or are you gonna keep it? I was thinking that maybe if you did give it up then we could do like one of those open adoptions."

"We?"

"Well I am the father and I meant what I said, I want to be involved. And if you do put the baby up for adoption I just want to make sure no one messes with my kid. I don't want him or her to turn out the way I did."

Amy was suddenly at a loss of words. This evening had not been what she had expected. She expected Ricky to be closed off as usual and expected him to let her get angry with him and then have him leave but none of that was happening. Ricky was bearing himself out to her so much that he even told Amy, while not in those full words; that he was ashamed of whom he was and he didn't want the baby to turn out the same way.

Amy took a deep breath. She knew she would regret this but she had no choice as much as she didn't like it, Ricky was the baby's father and he was going to be involved somehow. There was just no getting rid of him as much as she wanted to pull away. She wanted him to forget that it ever happened and she wanted him to just not care about her or the baby but he did care and that only made things harder on her. Amy looked at Ricky.

"I have a doctor's appointment at twelve on Monday. Can you make it?"

"Sure, I've kind of always hated history anyway."

"Okay," Amy replied. "Meet me at the front parking lot at 11:30."

"I will, I promise. Thanks, Amy."

"You're welcome."

Amy then walked Ricky to the door and before he left he said, "I'll see you on Monday."

"Yeah," was all Amy said to him before he left her house.

After Amy closed the door, she took a deep breath and hoped she was doing the right thing. There was a part of her that felt oddly guilty about it especially considering that she never once let Ben go with her to a doctor's appointment and now she had just invited the one person she wanted nothing to do with.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

What a fast weekend it had been, Monday had all ready come and as usual, Amy was not looking forward to going to school. She hated the stares people gave her: yes she had made a mistake but why couldn't people just give her the benefit of the doubt? Something like this could have happened to anyone after all from the research she had done, approximately 700,000 teens get pregnant in a single year and approximately one third of teens don't use protection. Granted she didn't want to be one of them but at this point there was no turning back the clock. She had tried to abort it but in the end couldn't go through with it and now the options she faced were keeping the baby and giving it up for adoption.

The only problem that was now starting to plague her mind was that she might not want to give it up for adoption for Ricky's sake. Since when did she care about Ricky? Amy had hated him for what had happened though she did hold her part of responsibility. As much as she didn't want to care about him she knew that she was beginning to especially after their conversation on Saturday. And she also knew the importance of having a father. Ricky's own life was in shambles and now Amy's life was falling apart too. Maybe if there was some good that came out of all these bad situations was that she and Ricky could give the baby a semi-good life.

Amy saw Ben standing near his locker with Henry and she went up to them. She tried to ignore the stares people were giving her but it was a little difficult.

"Hey, Amy," Ben said taking her hand. "So how was your talk with Ricky? He's not backing out is he?"

"Just the opposite, he really wants to be involved."

"Are you going to let him," Henry asked. Amy and Ben both looked at him, "Sorry, it's none of my business. I think I'm just going to go find Madison and Lauren."

Amy looked at Henry curious as to why he wanted to hang out with her friends rather than with Alice. "You tell her," Henry said to Ben, "it's still too fresh in my mind."

"Okay," Ben said to him. And so Henry left so Ben turned his attention back to Amy, "He and Alice officially broke up."

"Again," said Amy.

"Yeah well this time it's for good. Apparently it has something to do with their sex life or lack thereof."

Amy put a hand up, "Okay I don't really need the details."

"Right, I'm sorry. Besides I think Henry has another girl in mind anyways."

"Really," said Amy, "who?"

"Ashley."

"Ashley," Amy repeated, "you're kidding."

"Afraid not but hey it might work. So are you going to let Ricky be involved- I know how much you don't want him in your life?"

"I may not want him in my life but I really don't have a choice and I can't do that to the baby. It needs its father."

"I'll be the father," Ben pleaded, "We're all ready un-officially engaged so I can adopt the baby and it will be my son or daughter."

Amy shook her head. Why was he always doing this? From the moment she had met Ben, though his gestures about loving her and wanting to marry her, and now wanting to adopt her baby; while the intentions were all well in good, at the same time Amy could not help but feel pressured sometimes.

"At least just think about it," Ben said to her. "You don't have to be alone in this. I want to help but only if you let me. And I want to be the father of this baby."

"Give me sometime okay Ben," said Amy, "I have to stop thinking about what I want and what everyone else wants. It's no longer about that anymore, it's about the baby and what's right for it."

"You're right, I'm sorry. It isn't about us, it's about the baby."

"I have to go," Amy said to him, "I'll call you later okay."

Ben only nodded and with that Amy was gone.

Meanwhile at the other end of the hallway, Ricky and Grace were entertaining a conversation of their own. Ricky and Grace had only been "officially" seeing each other for a little over three days much to the Boman's disapproval but so far that had not seemed to stop Grace. For being a Jesus freak she sure was intent on breaking a few rules that she disagreed with. Nothing wrong with that, for Ricky it only made her more irresistible.

"So," said Grace, "You're really going to a doctor's appointment with Amy?"

"Absolutely," Ricky said in that sly tone of his, "I told her I wanted to be involved with the baby and I meant it. I just think the kid will want its father in his life you know."

"No of course. It's good that you want to be there and help out."

"Well I can be a good guy when given the chance you know."

Grace smiled, "I know. I just wish my parents could see that."

"Don't sweat it, Grace. So what if your parents don't like me, I get that a lot so it's really no big deal."

"I just wish you didn't have to."

Ricky smiled at her, "Your sweet. Hey, I have to get to class but I'll call you later okay."

"Okay," Grace said to him. "Tell me how things go with Amy."

"You really want to know?"

"Yeah, I mean Amy and I are friends and you're my boyfriend so I'd like to know what's going on."

At that moment Ricky smiled and then leaned in to kiss Grace. He smiled again and then left. What Ricky failed to notice was that Amy had been at her locker watching the two of them. Amy shook her head and thought to herself that some things never changed. And of all people to be with, the next target was Grace Boman. Wouldn't her dad be pleased?

At 11:25 Amy was upfront waiting for her mother and Ricky arrived shortly after.

"So I guess Adrian is out of the picture," Amy said to him.

"Well she's no longer around so yeah she is."

"And what happens when she comes back, are you gonna get rid of Grace?"

"Not that it's any of your business but no, I'm not gonna get rid of Grace."

"She's not going to sleep with you, you know. She's not that naïve."

"I'm not interested in having sex with Grace."

Amy couldn't help but laugh and shake her head.

"You don't believe me," Ricky said.

"Not really, no; I mean you weren't interested in having sex with me yet here we are."

"Come on Amy don't do this, not now. Can't we just accept the situation for what it is and just move forward instead of two steps back? We're gonna have to grow up at some point."

"You're right, we are."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ricky asked due to the tone in her voice.

Before Amy could answer, her mom drove up and Amy let it go. Ricky opened the back seat as an offering of his good nature to let Amy in but instead she opened the front passenger seat instead. They made it well on time with a few minutes to spare waiting in the waiting room. There were a few other patients who were pregnant that were also waiting to see the doctor. This made Ricky a tad uncomfortable considering all of the women were actually old enough to have kids. There were two guys besides him but he wasn't sure if it made him feel better or more uncomfortable for being the youngest one.

It wasn't long before Amy's name was called. Ricky stood up unsure of whether to follow Amy and her mom or just wait around. On second thought maybe going in with Amy wouldn't be the worst thing- at least it was better than waiting out here surrounded by all of the other pregnant people. Ricky lagged behind and entered the room just as Amy was taking a seat on the examination table.

"How are we doing today, Amy," asked Dr. Hightower.

"Okay," Amy said not really elaborating.

"Any morning sickness, sexual urges?"

Ricky shifted his feet from the spot he was standing at and Amy didn't say anything this time so Dr. Hightower smiled. "It's okay Amy, I know it can be a little embarrassing especially at your age but the morning sickness and the urge to have sex at this stage in the pregnancy is completely normal. You don't have to feel ashamed."

"It's kind of hard not to. Lots of teens have sex yet I'm the one walking around with the Scarlett letter."

"Well you've got a good support system it seems like. You're not going through this alone, Amy."

"I know," Amy said not looking at her doctor.

"And you know," Dr. Hightower said to her, "it would be perfectly okay for you to have sex. It wouldn't hurt the baby in anyway."

"I kind of all ready tried," Amy said ignoring the fact her mother was in the room, "but my boyfriend didn't think it was a good idea. He said he would feel like he was trespassing."

"That's an understandable reaction," said Dr. Hightower, "Alright, let's have a look."

Amy pulled up her shirt where Dr. Hightower then applied the gel. It was a little cold which caused the life inside her to jump. Dr. Hightower then had the screen up and running along with the sound. This made Ricky move closer and he placed his hand over the chair.

"Is that the-," Ricky couldn't even begin to say the word.

Dr. Hightower smiled at the dad to be, "That's the heart beat all right. It's a normal and steady rhythm. The baby seems perfectly healthy."

Ricky could not believe what he was seeing on the screen. Not only was he hearing his son or daughter's heartbeat but right there on the screen was the baby itself. Sure he and Amy were teenagers and they were having a baby together but not once could he remember a time when he was truly as happy as he was. It was here and now that Ricky fully decided to commit to being involved with the baby as well as with Amy. He would not become his father's son. If this meant that he had to give up some of his leisure activities then he would do it. He did not want his son or daughter to grow up knowing their father was sex addict and he did not want him or her to grow up in that kind of atmosphere. Ricky was intent on giving his kid the best life possible.

Now he understood: it was no longer about him, it was about the baby. For once in his life Ricky had someone who would depend on him. Could this have been what Amy meant before their conversation got interrupted? Had she been about to call him on his behavior but couldn't because her mom had showed up? Whether she thought it or not Ricky was determined that from here on end sex would be taken out of the equation. Unless of course Amy should "need" him after all she had just told her doctor that her boyfriend hadn't been up to the job. What a wimp, Ricky thought to himself. The only question that remained was: would he be up for the job? He had slept with Amy once before which in his mind had been great sex but now that she was pregnant, would he have the guts to actually sleep with her knowing that the baby would be caught in the middle? On some level the thought grossed him out but whatever, that would be a bridge when they got to that point, if they ever got there. Odds are Amy wouldn't want to have sex with him regardless if he offered himself to her or not. And besides, Amy was too good of a person to betray the one guy who loved her unconditionally regardless if she was pregnant with his baby or not.

Without even realizing what was happening after being lost in his thoughts, Dr. Hightower was now turning off the ultrasound and cleaning Amy's stomach with a towel. Dr. Hightower printed out two pictures of the baby before turning off the machines; one for Amy and one for Ricky.

"So did you two want to know the sex of the baby?" asked Dr. Hightower.

"You can tell this early," Ricky said after having kept silent since the ride over.

"Absolutely, the baby was in a good position to make out its identity."

Ricky looked at Amy knowing she would call the shots. It really didn't matter to him if they found out or not. The only thing that was most important was that it was okay. What Ricky had not expected was for Amy to be considerate of what he wanted.

"Did you want to know, Ricky?" she simply asked.

"Only if you want to," he replied, "And thanks for asking."

"I want to know," Amy said looking to Dr. Hightower.

She in turn smiled, "Well okay then: I can tell you with a ninety percent certainty that you two are having a girl."

"A girl," Amy repeated with a smile, deep down hoping it would be a girl. Her mother let out a small but somewhat forced smile.

"A daughter," was all Ricky could say. Deep down he had wanted a daughter at least that way there would be little chance of it turning out like him. And most importantly so he could be an overprotective father; that he was looking forward to. Right away he certainly did not want his daughter, their daughter, to make the same mistake as they had; although now calling the baby a mistake seemed wrong somehow.

Ricky gently ran his fingers over the image of his daughter which did not go unnoticed by Amy. She could see the look in his eye and if she weren't so emotional herself she could swear she could see tears forming in his eyes. Amy couldn't help but smile as much as she didn't want to. She quickly forced the smile away.

"Ricky, you ready to go?"

"Yeah," he said following her and Mrs. Juergen's but not before stopping at Dr. Hightower, "Thanks for this," was all he said.

Dr. Hightower smiled at him and nodded and so Ricky followed.

After filling out some last minute paperwork, the trio made it to the car.

"Mom, do you think we can just head home," Amy said as they got in the car.

"Amy it's barely one o'clock. You still have three hours left of school."

"So, people are going to know I had a doctor's appointment."

"How would they know?"

"Um, it's high school people talk."

"We'll they're gonna know what's going on regardless if you go or not."

"See so then I can go home. Please, mom."

"Okay but just this once. I don't want you to use this as an excuse all the time. Anne looked in the rear view mirror to speak to Ricky, "Ricky, do you want me to drop you off at school?"

"To be honest Mrs. Juergen's I'm not really feeling up to going to school either."

"Okay not a problem well in that case would you like to come over to the house? You two haven't had lunch yet so you're probably hungry."

Amy shot her mother a look, "What are you doing?"

"I'm being nice, Amy. It wouldn't help if you did the same once in a while."

"I don't want to intrude," Ricky replied.

"You're not intruding, Ricky."

"Thank you, Mrs. Juergens."

_**NOTE: I know that Dr. Hightower is a Pediatrician but I like her so much and the phone conversations she has with Amy that I decided for fun I would turn her into an OBGYN instead this way she's apart of Amy's pregnancy. Just letting you know so it doesn't come off as an error of sorts.**_


	3. Chapter 3

Anne Juergens busied herself in the kitchen making a couple of sandwiches for Ricky and Amy. She herself wasn't hungry so she would just let the kids eat. Amy probably wouldn't be in the mood to eat anything since she had thrown up the second they got home. When Amy had returned from the restroom Ricky had been quick to ask if she were okay and the only reply Amy gave him was a nod.

Amy still couldn't believe that her mother had invited Ricky over to the house for lunch. Maybe going back to school wouldn't have been so bad after all. At least there she wouldn't be around Ricky as much. Amy wasn't much for watching television so she busied herself reading class notes from the morning. Ricky, not sure on what to do also did the same but it wasn't working quite as well for him. Instead he reached in his bag for his drum sticks and began tapping at air. Amy tried to focus on her studies but it was becoming increasingly difficult especially when Ricky accidently hit the coffee table.

Amy looked at him and Ricky looked back, "sorry," being the only word he said. This was new territory for the both of them. They had been friends at band camp but it wasn't like they hung out all the time. It had only been that one night and even that wasn't really considered hanging out. And even after returning to school they had always found some way to blow each other off; her more so than him.

It was then that Anne came in the room and announced, "Lunch is ready."

"I'm not hungry," Amy replied.

"Amy you have to eat something. You haven't eaten anything all day."

"I've had morning sickness all day."

"Well at least eat some crackers. They'll help get rid of the morning sickness as well as give you some nourishment."

"Fine," Amy said.

Amy got up and went to the kitchen to get the crackers as well as a glass of milk. She then took her school stuff and went upstairs to her room, ignoring Ricky in the process.

"You still hungry, Ricky?"

"Sure," he replied and followed Anne to the kitchen. The two of them took a seat at the table.

"Don't be upset with her," Anne said to him. "It's just the hormones. One day she can be completely happy for no reason and the next she can be completely miserable."

"I think it's a mixture of both: the hormones and her hatred for me."

"She doesn't hate you, Ricky. She might dislike you but she doesn't hate you. If anything, she accepts the situation but she still feel ashamed."

"Guess that's my fault too. I'm very sorry, Mrs. Juergens. If I could take that night back I would. I was only thinking of myself but if I hadn't I probably would've taken precautions."

"Why didn't you?"

Ricky shifted a little in his seat unsure if he should be the one to discuss his sexual activity with Amy's mother.

"I don't know," was the only answer he could give her. In all of his sexual activities with Adrian Lee, he had always worn a condom. He really did not understand his own reasoning for not having worn one that night with Amy.

"Ricky, you're not a bad guy. Sure you might show off a little too much and you have your own issues to deal with but what teenager doesn't? It's not easy being your age."

Ricky had to back up a second, "My own issues? What did Amy tell you something about me?"

Anne nodded and Ricky suddenly knew that Amy had told her mother that he had been sexually abused. Ricky didn't know whether to be angry at her or cry right then and there. He had suddenly lost his appetite.

"Don't be mad at her," said Anne. "She was just concerned and needed someone to talk to. Believe it or not she does care about you."

"If that's true she certainly has a way of showing it."

"I know but that's Amy."

Ricky smiled a little, "Always keeping her feelings to herself, yeah I know." Ricky then reached in his back pocket where he had put the baby picture. His smile grew a little wider. "You know when the doctor said it was a girl, I was kind of relieved."

"Mind if I ask why?"

Ricky's expression suddenly turned grim, "I've heard that sons have a higher chance of becoming like their fathers. I've all ready proven that and the idea of having a son made me feel guilty because what if I were to fail him like my own father? I don't think I could handle it. I try to ignore my problem and pretend like it isn't there but there are certain situations that I'm reminded of it. And I can literally feel it happening all over again. I can feel him touching me and doing things. And then I see her there- just watching and not doing a thing to make him stop."

"Your mom," said Anne.

Ricky nodded. "I hate that she didn't do anything but at the same time I know why. She was just as afraid of him as I was." Ricky shook his head and tried to gain a sense of control from the tears that were starting to form, "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you all of this. I've never really told anyone, not my foster parents, not even my shrink."

"Well then," Anne said patting his arm, "Maybe it was just time. I'm so sorry that you had to experience all of that Ricky. You and Amy might be too young to have a baby but the fact is you're both going to be parents and you are going to make mistakes but the fact that you don't want to make the same mistakes as your father shows a great deal."

"Mrs. Juergens, I really do want to be there for my daughter, I want to make sure that the same thing doesn't happen to her as it did to us. I also want to be there for Amy without the 'boyfriend' label since she's involved with Ben and I'm involved with Grace. If she ever needs anything I just want her to know that I'll be there for her."

Anne smiled. This young man sitting in front of her certainly had been doing a lot of coming of age. He still might've been the drummer to show off during football games but just in this conversation alone she could see that he truly meant everything he said and just maybe he would not go back on any of it.

"Then tell her that. She might be stubborn to listen but she will. Tell you what, why don't you go upstairs and see how she's doing and then I'll give you a ride home. You can't miss her room it's the one with the butterfly on the door."

Ricky nodded, first placing the baby picture back in his pocket then placing the plate on the counter and then went upstairs to Amy's room. He knocked and when she heard him say "come in", he pushed the door open slightly. Amy was sitting at her desk working on more homework.

"Feeling better," he asked.

Amy nodded.

Ricky fidgeted with the door knob, "You're mom is a real easy person to talk to, a lot easier than your dad. Why did you tell her the truth about me?"

Amy suddenly got nervous and afraid that she had been caught, "I- I- I'm sorry. I didn't- I didn't mean to," Amy said, blaming herself for stuttering.

Ricky smiled. He actually enjoyed Amy's stuttering. It was cute. He remembered back to their night together and Amy stuttered a few times. "It's okay," Ricky assured her, "I'm kind of glad you did."

"You are?"

"Yeah, I told her things I had never told anyone. It was actually a relief."

"Well she's a good listener. I really didn't mean to tell her, Ricky. We were just talking and I just brought it up as a hypothetical question. Somehow she figured out it was you. She's a mom though- they know things."

"I hope your instincts are just as good with our daughter."

"I'll be lucky if I inherited at least half of what my mom has."

"Well if she doesn't end up pregnant when she's fifteen I think we'll have done good by her."

"Yeah that would be nice wouldn't it? So are you okay with having a girl?"

Ricky went over and sat on the floor; leaning against Amy's bed.

"You know I am actually. I was afraid that by having a son that he would turn out like me but at least with a girl there's less chance of that happening. And I don't know the idea of a daughter just sounds more meaningful to me somehow. I don't want to be some dead beat dad the way my old man was. She deserves much better than that. I want to be around for her and I want to be close to her."

"You're taking this seriously aren't you?"

"Aren't you?"

Amy shook her head, "I know I should be and I want to keep her."

"But-," Ricky asked.

"I'm terrified. I hate the way people look at me and talk behind my back in the hallways and I hate that Ben thinks he can simply fix all of this. Have you heard that Ben wants to marry me?"

Amy could not believe that she had just admitted a personal truth and to all people she had admitted it to Ricky Underwood; the one person that she disliked most in the world. Yet at the same time talking to him was comfortable. I guess they had the baby to thank for that. If Ricky wasn't so intent on being involved and if there was no baby none of this would probably be happening.

"Yeah I heard but I don't know Amy, seems kind of rushed don't you think? It's cute that he wants to be your knight in shining armor but it's like I've said before he's not your type and I think you know that otherwise you would tell him that you love him?" Amy looked at him curiously, "What, you didn't think I noticed when he told you he loved you the other day and you didn't say it back? I noticed."

"My relationship with Ben is none of your business."

"It is if what he wants next is to adopt my kid." Amy stayed silent and turned her gaze away from Ricky. "You can't be serious. He's not going to adopt my kid, I won't let him."

"I haven't even decided anything."

"But you're thinking about it?"

"No. To be honest I hadn't thought about it all day until you brought it up. And I'm not even sure I want to marry Ben. I mean part of me wants to but at the same time I know it's not logical."

"What do your parents say?"

"My dad doesn't have an opinion yet and my mom thinks it's a bad idea."

"I agree with her," Ricky said nodding his head.

"Are you agreeing with her because you actually believe it too or because you have issues with my dad?"

"A little of both," Ricky said feeling as though he had been caught.

Amy couldn't help but laugh and Ricky started laughing too. The laughing soon intensified and Ricky saw Amy jump. He quickly got up and went over to her side.

"You okay?"

Amy smiled, "I'm fine. Guess the baby wanted to join in too. Do you want to feel her?"

"Are you sure?"

"Mhm, you did say you want to be close to your daughter didn't you?"

Ricky gently placed his hand on Amy's stomach and he could soon feel the squirming beneath her. The baby started moving a little harder.

"Guess she knows her daddy is here," Amy said thinking out loud.

Ricky continued to feel the life inside of Amy. The life he had helped to create. People could judge all they wanted about him about her and about the baby but nothing could take away these moments that he was starting to have as a father.

"Wow," Ricky said in a whisper. "It's kind of strange."

"I know. The first time she moved it really freaked me out. It still does but in a good way now instead of a bad way."

"Thanks for letting me feel her. I was kind of afraid you might never let me."

"Well I wasn't going to but, I don't know I guess part of me does want to somehow believe that you're coming around."

"I am, Amy, I promise. I want what's best for our daughter just as much as you do and I really do want to be there for her. Just because this was our mistake, I don't want her to pay the price for it, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. And maybe now we can stop thinking of her as a mistake. We might not have wanted this but there's no going back."

"I think that's a good idea," Ricky replied. "Well, I think I should get going. Your mom said she would give me a ride home."

"Okay."

"I'll see you at school?" Ricky asked phrasing it as more of a question. Amy simply nodded. "You know, Amy if you ever needed anything, you know I'm here right."

"I- I know."

"And I'm not just talking about the baby. I'm saying if you ever needed anything you can always let me know. I'm not going anywhere. I don't just want to be there for the baby, I want to be there for you too. Well, I'll see ya."

And with that, Ricky left. With Ricky gone it gave Amy to think about what had just happened. They had spent over half an hour simply talking. No despise, no hatred, nothing; just a pure and simple conversation. What the heck was happening to these two? Amy wanted to believe that they were only connecting because of the baby but she knew it was more than that. They were becoming friends and Amy didn't know whether to be shocked with the urge to run away or just accept it as it was like she had started to accept everything else in her life. Whatever it was Amy hoped that it wasn't just one big game. If it was a game, then God certainly was playing a very bad joke. Not that Amy believed in God or held any religious beliefs but her life was all ready one big joke and she wasn't sure if she was ready for another one.


	4. Chapter 4

The following day at school hadn't been much of a thrill. Amy had seen Ben, her friends and Henry even asked about Ashley. Everything pretty much stayed the same except when she saw Ricky. They didn't talk all day but that didn't stop him from smiling genuinely and not those fake smiles he normally did.

As of right now, evening, Amy was sitting on the couch swing in the backyard. Her parents were once again arguing. Amy wasn't sure what the argument was about only that her father was at the house begging to come home. Everything was so messed up. Amy always feared that her parents would separate because they argued so much and now little by little that fear was turning into a reality. Her mother had all ready filed the divorce papers which her father refused to sign. Her mother was giving up on the marriage yet her father was trying his best to salvage what was left. Secretly she had hoped that her situation would bring them together but life certainly was no fairytale and her parents continued to drift apart.

Amy heard the door slam behind her so she turned to see her father standing there. He looked exhausted and defeated. Amy knew enough not to say anything. While her parents' problems weren't her problems they did affect her and Ashley in some way and by the look on her dad's face she knew what had happened: he gave in and signed the papers. George, not knowing that her daughter was there, went around to the front of the house, got in his car, and drove off. It was then that the tears started to flood Amy's eyes.

After about five minutes of crying, Amy heard footsteps behind her. Ashley took a seat.

"This stinks," said her sister.

Amy wiped her eyes, "Yeah. He signed the divorce papers, didn't he?"

"Yeah, he did. Whatever, he's stupid." Ashley looked at Amy and asked, "So what happens now?"

Amy shook her head, "I don't know."

"Have you decided what you're gonna do about Ben? Are you gonna marry him?"

"No. I thought marrying him would be the right thing to do but now I'm not so sure."

"Because of Ricky," Ashley asked.

"There's him and because of mom and dad. I'm only fifteen: I don't want to deal with all of that marriage stuff yet. I just think the baby will be complicated enough you know."

"Yeah I know. Our lives are complicated enough without adding Ben as my brother in law."

"Yeah," Amy replied.

"I'm gonna go check on mom, you coming?" Ashley asked getting up from the swing.

"No, I think I want to stay out here a little longer."

Ashley just nodded and went inside. When Amy knew she was finally alone, she reached for her phone that was sitting on the side of her. She fiddled with it for a little while thinking she should call Ben but then thought otherwise. Instead she continued to look up at the stars and let herself digest all of these uncomfortable changes in her life.

At Grace's house that evening, Ricky and Grace sat in the living room. A Bible was placed on the table as they had just read Psalm six. Like most things in his life, reading the Bible was a little new to Ricky. Yes he had read it at church but he never took time out of his own life to really sit and read it during free time. He thought there was always something better to do. Yet when he had met Grace, he had wanted to become a Christian. Granted that's what most guys wanted from her since she clearly would not turn away from her faith but as he sat and re-read the passage he understood that he really could be forgiven and that God would not turn away from him no matter who else did so in his life. Ricky continued to read the passages that seemed to have the most meaning to him:

_Have pitty on me, Lord, for my bones are trembling_

_In utter terror is my soul- And you, Lord, how long….?_

_Turn, Lord, save my life; In your mercy rescue me._

As Ricky read this, he knew that of all things this is what he wanted most in his life. He knew his actions and the way he acted with girls was wrong and sinful yet there were times when he felt he couldn't control it. His desire to sex was sometimes so great that he just had to give into it and yet here God was actually willing to save him from all of that and most importantly to save him from himself.

Ricky turned to Grace, "Thank you for this, Grace."

"Oh anytime," she said with a smile, "Sometimes I just like to read different passages. A lot of the information can be very helpful."

"Well I appreciate it."

"So how are things with Amy and the baby?"

"They're doing well so far. I'm sorry I didn't call you yesterday I just had a lot going on. We found out we're having a girl."

"A girl, that's great."

Ricky couldn't help but smile, "Yeah it is."

"So have you thought of names yet?"

"I think it's a little too early for that isn't it?"

"Not necessarily, my parents thought about names for me the second they found out I was a girl."

"That's pretty early," Ricky said and then he decided to change the subject. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

"Sure," Grace replied.

"What's the deal with your parents and Amy's parents? I vaguely remember Amy saying that your mom was her dad's ex-wife."

Grace wasn't sure if she was comfortable with Ricky's question but she did her best to answer him anyways. "I'm not too sure on the details my mom and dad never really talk about it. The only thing I know is that my mom cheated on Mr. Juergen's with my dad."

"That must be rough."

"Not really. It happened before I was born so it doesn't affect me. Why did you want to know?"

Ricky shook his head and lied, "No reason." Ricky hated that he just lied to Grace after reading the Bible but there was no way he could tell her the truth. A big part of him feared that if Amy got married to Ben that he would want a real chance with her at the last possible minute but that it would be too late.

While deep in his own thoughts, though he knew he should be focusing on Grace, his cell phone rang.

"Sorry," Ricky said to her, "I forgot to turn it off before I got here."

"It's okay."

Ricky looked at the number and was a little surprised. He knew that it was going to be rude to Grace but at the same time he had made a promise which he intended to keep.

"Hey," Ricky replied into the phone.

"H-hi," Amy replied back. "I know it's a little late but-," she said.

"No, it's okay. What's going on?"

"I just really needed to talk to someone."

"You couldn't have called Ben?" Ricky suddenly hated himself for saying that.

"He-he didn't, he didn't answer."

Ricky was suddenly a little flattered. He decided to go along with Amy's lie for now. "What's going on, everything okay?"

"Not really."

Ricky nodded even though Amy couldn't see him, "I'll come over."

"No," Amy pleaded, "You don't- you don't have to." Amy continued to curse herself for lying to Ricky. It was a habit she was desperately trying to get over but sometimes her stuttering just slipped.

"That's it," said Ricky smiling a little, "I'm coming."

Amy sighed, "Okay. Just come around back since I'm sitting outside."

"Okay."

After Ricky hung up the phone he stood and so Grace followed.

"Is something wrong?"

"I don't know. I think Amy just needs a friend right now."

Grace curiously wondered why Amy would not have called Madison or Lauren or even Ben. Though she did not voice her concerns to Ricky, she knew better than to start acting like the jealous girlfriend.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Grace asked.

"No it's okay. She sounded pretty upset so I think I'll just talk to her alone."

"Oh, okay. Well tell her I say hi."

"I will." Ricky leaned in and placed a kiss on Grace's cheek. "Goodnight, Grace."

"Night," she replied as she followed him to the front door where he then got in his car headed toward Amy Juergen's home.

"Amy," Ricky called out. He saw the bench swing move and went in that direction, "Hey," he said, "What are you doing out here in the dark?"

"Didn't want the lights on," was her only replied.

Ricky nodded and so he went and sat next to her. It was then that Ricky could hear Amy crying. "Hey, talk to me, what's going on?"

"It's nothing."

"If that were true you wouldn't have called."

Amy shook her head, "everything is just so messed up. Ricky, my dad left us tonight."

"He's left before hasn't he?"

"This time was different," Amy said wiping away some tears, "He signed the divorce papers."

Ricky had no idea that things between Amy's parents were this bad. Amy was dealing with so much right now: Ben's proposal, the baby, and now her parents were screwed up.

"I thought this would be easier," said Amy. "I know its lame but part of me had hoped that my situation would bring them closer and they would stay together. Now it's just pulling them apart."

"Hey," said Ricky, "This isn't your fault. Just like we make our own mistakes parents' make theirs. I should know. We just have to be smart enough and hope we don't make the same ones."

"Yeah, maybe," Amy said not being so sure. "You know my parents have been together for fifteen years."

"I didn't."

"I don't know, I guess I just always pictured them always being together. I could handle the arguing but I never thought it would come this far."

"How's Ashley handling it?"

"She keeps putting the blame on my dad."

"It's no one's fault," Ricky said, "sometimes people just drift apart."

"I just never thought they would you know."

"I know."

Ricky, unsure of what to do next gently touched Amy's arm. At first she pulled away but then little by little didn't mind. When Ricky was sure that Amy was comfortable touching her, he gently placed his arm around her and Amy leaned into his embrace, crying on his shoulder.

"Mind if I ask you something?" Ricky said. Amy nodded into his shoulder. "Why didn't you call Ben? I really thought he would've been the one you wanted to talk to."

Amy straightened up and instead of looking at Ricky she stared out into the night. "I guess I just feel guilty for having him brought into all of this. My life is complicated enough without him worrying about what's going on with my parents." Amy then looked away, "I'm sorry," she said to him, "I shouldn't have called you. I'm sure you had other things that you wanted to do besides be with me."

Ricky placed a comforting hand on Amy's shoulder with a small grip, "Nothing that can't wait. I know you might not believe me but you are important to me, Amy. I meant what I said and I'm not going to go back on it. I'll be here whenever you need me."

Amy did not say anything but Ricky could barely see her nod. "So," he said to her, "What do you say, are you ready to go back inside? Something tells me you were out here long before I came to your rescue."

"Since my parents started arguing at five but I should probably head to bed anyways."

Amy and Ricky simultaneously got up from the swing and walked towards the back door. The light was on in the kitchen so the two finally were able to make out each other's features. Amy looked a way for a little bit and then back at him.

"Um, thanks Ricky."

Ricky smiled at her, "I'm glad you called. Goodnight, Amy."

"Night, Ricky," she replied.

Ricky waited for Amy to go into the house and then he went around and back to his car. The evening had not been what he expected. He had wanted to spend the evening with Grace but this turned out to be much better despite what Amy was going through. Then again, nothing was as expected these days and Ricky was absolutely fine with that. Tomorrow was another day and he had hope he would get to spend more time with Amy. If people saw at school then that was their problem. At this point Ricky no longer cared that he was seen talking to Amy. He was going to be there for the baby and for her and that truly meant spending time with her instead of putting on the façade that he had been doing and pretending that he was interested in her well being. Those lies were over.


	5. Chapter 5

Why was it that some weeks went by slower than others? This had certainly been one of those weeks. Thankfully it was now Friday. Aside from some homework that many of the students at Ulysses S. Grant High had, at least things were looking up.

"So," Ben said casually standing against the lockers as Amy sifted through hers. "The weekend," he said to her.

"What about it?"

"Come on, Amy, I've been talking about it all week."

Amy gave Ben a weird look.

"The harvest festival," said Ben reminding her. "It's going on this weekend. We had been planning on it."

"Oh right."

"How could you forget? You love Halloween."

"Yeah, when I was like ten. And in case you haven't noticed, I've had other concerns on my mind," Amy said, pointing towards her growing stomach.

"You know, it is okay to think of yourself for awhile. The baby isn't going anywhere."

"That's not the point."

"Then what is the point? Is it the fact that you're upset that you've been spending a lot of time with the drummer?"

Amy continued to sift through her locker, not looking at Ben, "Yeah, yeah that's it. I'm just frus-frustrated that's all."

"See," Ben said not noticing Amy's stuttering. Yes, Ben noticed but it was something he didn't pay attention to. "All the more reason to go to the festival tomorrow," he said. "It will be a nice break from everything. They're going to have a corn maze, goat petting, pumpkin carving contests, and of course plenty of food. Come on, what do you say?"

Amy looked at him after closing her locker, "Sounds fun. I have to get to band practice but we'll talk later."

"Okay, do you want me to walk you?"

Amy smiled at the gesture, "Thanks but I think I'll be okay."

When she got there she was a little surprised to see that Ricky wasn't there until she got a text from him on her phone: _Had an appointment_, it read, _won't b practice- Ricky. _Amy couldn't help but smile. Ricky really didn't need to tell her anything. In fact if things had been as they once were he wouldn't have. Amy could no longer deny that things had changed between them and though Amy wasn't anywhere near to wanting a relationship with him, it satisfied her that Ricky was doing what he could to at least be her friend.

~*~*~*~*~

"Girlfriend," Ricky's new therapist, John Steele, asked.

"Not exactly," Ricky replied. "Just texting Amy to let her know I wouldn't be there for band practice."

"That's very thoughtful of you."

"I'm a thoughtful guy."

"Especially lately," Steele said.

"Look, if you're questioning my motifs as to why I want to be involved with Amy and the baby then just say it. You wouldn't be the first you know."

"No it's not that, I believe your intentions are genuine. In fact I know they are."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'll let you in on a little secret, Ricky. Everything you've been through, I've been through. My father sexually abused me and I was tossed from one foster home to another. I had sex with nearly half of the girls at my high school just to satisfy that urge and to tell myself that I was a man but you know what, I wasn't a man. I was a coward. There was this one girl who, for the sake of discussion we'll call Charlotte. She was always the one I went back to even though I knew it was a mistake."

"And yet you became a therapist? Why?"

"To help people like myself."

"Why are you telling me all of this?"

"I like my patients to know about me. I find that it makes them feel a little more comfortable. So now that we've gotten that out of the way, let me ask you something."

Ricky nodded so Dr. Steele continued, "This girl of yours, Adrian. What would you do if she came back?"

"Since when did this become about her?"

Dr. Steele smiled, "Since I mentioned Charlotte."

"Guess I should have picked up on that one."

"So what would you do, Ricky? What would you do if Adrian came back?"

"She's not coming back. Haven't you listened- her father took her out of school, she's going to a new one, and she has a new family."

"So there's always a chance. So what would you do?"

"I wouldn't do anything."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm over it and if she were to come back, I wouldn't be interested anymore. It's just not who I am anymore. I have changed."

"And I believe it. Now let me ask you this, what is your definition of love?"

"My definition of love," Ricky asked curious as to where this was going.

"Yeah, your definition: not what your foster parents have tried to teach you, not what past girlfriends have taught you, not what the schools have taught you. I just want your personal definition."

"Why?"

"Just humor me for a little bit."

"You know, just for the record, Dr. Fields never asked me these sorts of questions."

"Just for the record, I'm not Dr. Fields."

Ricky looked at him and nodded, then stayed silent for a while. "Okay: love is patient and kind-," said Ricky until Dr. Steele stopped him.

"That's the Bible's definition, I want yours."

"I guess for me love would have to be having a connection with someone you don't really see having a connection with, you become friends with that person and soon the only thing that matters to you is how she feels, how she's handling things. It no longer becomes about you. You want to be there for her no matter what, even if she does try to push you away. You do everything in your power not to hurt her even if there are sometimes when you might mess up. You can't stop thinking about her and when you see her in the school hallways, you can't help but smile. You call her just to know what's going on with you so she doesn't think you've bailed out on her. She's the only person in the world that matters to you and even though there might be someone else, you still can't help but think about the 'what ifs'. You don't want anyone else and you would do anything for her even when she doesn't ask for it. Love challenges you: when you think you've got your ground to stand on, she stands a little higher and doesn't back down."

Dr. Steele smiled at Ricky, "That's very good."

"What's the point?"

"The point is to show yourself that you're capable of love. Ricky, this is something new to you. Your real parents never showed you the kind of love. Your foster parents can try but it won't ever come close to substituting for the real thing. And you can go to every other girl at school but that's not love either and you know it. Everything you just described right now, that, that Ricky, is love. Embrace it, don't hide from it."

"I can't."

"Sure you can."

"No, I can't," Ricky said a little more firmly, "Everything I just said right now I wasn't talking about Adrian or Grace."

"I know it wasn't about Adrian but isn't Grace the one you're with at the moment?"

"Yeah but I don't love her. I thought I did, I said I did but at the time that was because I had hoped she would just be my next fix. She's a tough virgin so she's pretty hard to break." Dr. Steele scowled at Ricky. "I just meant that she's too smart to have sex. When she does have sex it will be on her watch and not anyone else's."

"And you're okay with that?"

"Yeah," Ricky replied, "I know I'm not the right guy for her. I'm just not her type."

"You said something similar to Amy right? About her boyfriend not being her type."

"Yeah I did."

"Ricky, is she the one you feel you're meant to be with?"

Ricky shook his head. For so long he had tried to deny his true feelings. He wanted to admit they weren't there or that they would just go away but at the same time he was tired of denying his feelings. He had been open to everyone else's feelings except to his own. It made him feel vulnerable but maybe now it would be okay to embrace the feelings as Dr. Steele had just said. Maybe by admitting to his feelings he would finally start to see himself as a normal human being, and more importantly as the better man he wanted to be.

"Yeah," said Ricky, "I want to be with Amy. I don't even know how it's possible but I do love her, real love. I feel bad that she ended up pregnant when we had sex just that one time but I'm starting to think that maybe there was a reason for it, maybe the baby was some kind of blessing for us."

"You should tell her that."

"No, I shouldn't. She doesn't have to see me this way."

"Like what? Mr. Macho who can have a vulnerable side," said Dr. Steele.

"Yeah like that and then there's also the fact that Ben is in the picture."

"So what, you said that Amy is starting to have doubts about that relationship. Ricky, take it from someone who has been there: if you love Amy as much as you say you love her, don't let her go. Sure there might be the complication of a baby involved but something tells me there was more than just sex that night before the baby was conceived. I know this is new for you but don't run from it. Face it, challenge it, but don't run because if you do you're going to regret it."

"Is that what happened to you?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"What happened, if you don't mind me asking," Ricky said.

"She had an abortion and we went our separate ways after that and pretended the whole thing never happened."

"I'm sorry."

"Amy might not have had an abortion but don't let her walk away Ricky, especially if you feel that strongly about her. If I could go back and do things differently I would."

Ricky simply nodded at Dr. Steele. Ricky had been in his place some time ago when Adrian had driven Amy to the clinic. Is that what would have happened to him? Had Amy gone through with the abortion would Ricky have just walked away and the two of them pretending it never happened? Most likely considering the way they both were at the time but now things had changed. They were going to keep the baby and Amy was slowly opening herself up to him and vice versa.

~*~*~*~*~

Saturday night had arrived and Ben and Amy were spending their time at the Harvest Festival as were many other students from Grant High. The two of them were talking when they heard a voice behind them.

"Amy, Ben," she said. The two of them turned around to see Grace and Ricky standing before them, "I thought that was you. How are you guys?"

"Good," Ben said and Amy just nodded and smiled.

"So have you guys been in the corn maze yet?"

"Not yet," replied Ben looking over at Amy.

"I haven't been feeling up to it," said Amy.

"Aw," replied Grace, "That's too bad. Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine," Amy told her.

"Well for what it's worth, Ricky hasn't been in the mood for it either."

Ricky looked at Grace, amazed that she had just told that to Amy and Ben; Amy he didn't mind so much but part of him worried that Ben would somehow rub it in his face assuming he was that kind of guy. Ricky didn't know Ben all that well so he wasn't sure what Ben would do. Ricky decided to shake it off and speak up.

"Hey Grace, why don't you and Ben go walk the corn maze?"

"I don't know, are you sure?" Grace asked him.

"Yeah, if it's okay with Amy of course," he said looking at her instead of Grace.

Ben looked at Amy, "I don't have to go if you don't want me to," he said not fully trusting Ricky.

"No," Amy replied to him, "you should go. You shouldn't miss out on the fun just because of me."

"Hanging out with you is fun."

"Ben just go, I'll be fine I promise."

"Okay but I have my cell on in case you need me."

Amy simply nodded and then Ben took off into the maze with Grace. When the two of them left them alone, Amy semi-smiled at Ricky and then diverted her eyes elsewhere unsure of what to do next. Her nervousness didn't go unnoticed by Ricky who was just as nervous but unlike Amy; he had a better way of hiding it.

"Can I get you something to drink?" Ricky asked her. Amy looked at him a little surprised that he even offered. "Well I was thinking about getting a coke, so-," Ricky said unsure of what to say after that.

"I'll take a water thanks Ricky."

Ricky smiled, "One water coming up, I'll be right back."

Amy nodded and then went to find a table. The one she found was near the goat petting but Amy didn't mind. In only a few minutes, Ricky came back with two drinks in hand. He gave Amy her water.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome," he said taking a seat next to her.

"Mind if I ask you something?"

"I don't see why not."

"Why didn't you want to do the maze?"

Ricky knew this question was coming and what he wanted most was to be honest with Amy as much as he hated the truth about why he hated corn mazes.

"There are two reasons for that. The first is that my father did stuff to me when I was a kid. He told me if I screamed or cried for help that he would kill me. I was only eight but it seems like it just happened."

Amy did not know what to say. She knew Ricky was never this open especially in a public setting yet he trusted her with this information so she simply nodded. Ricky smiled because he knew that no other words needed to be spoken between the two.

"And what's the second reason?" she asked.

"The second reason is much better," Ricky said to her. "I want to be with you."

Amy was suddenly taken aback by his words. Amy wanted to believe he was just joking around like he was used to doing but the look in his eyes said otherwise. Why would Ricky not joke with something like that? He was with Grace and she had been with Ben so there was no possible way something could go on. _There's nothing going on_, Amy reminded herself, _we're just friends_. Who was Amy kidding? Slowly as much as she wanted to deny it, they were becoming more than friends. And it had nothing to do with the baby or the sudden change in Ricky. As much as she tried to deny it, she did know Ricky- not only as the guy that sleeps around but she knew him as more than that. It wasn't a one night stand at band camp as everyone else saw it. She had spent the entire summer with him before actually sleeping with him; a detail that was only known by the two of them.

"You don't- you don't mean that," Amy said to him.

"Of course I do and you know I do otherwise you wouldn't be stuttering."

Amy looked away a little embarrassed.

"Yeah," said Ricky, "You don't think I notice you stutter when you lie, I do notice."

Amy decided to change the subject, "If Grace wasn't in the maze would you be with her?"

"Not anymore. I broke up with her last night. She knows I'm in love with someone else; someone that is not her and not Adrian. I know I'm probably stepping the line since you're still with Ben and-"

"No, you're not stepping the line at all. I broke up with Ben last night too."

Ricky looked at her a little surprised, "Really? I kind of thought you two would be together forever."

"No you didn't. If I remember correctly, your exact words were, 'He's not your type'."

"Well I was being polite."

"Thank you."

"So why did you break up with him?"

"He wanted more than I did and there was also the fact that I'm also in love with someone else."

"Really, and would I know this other guy," Ricky asked.

"I don't know maybe."

Ricky simply smiled and Amy smiled back.

Amy decided to look at the kids that were feeding and petting the goats. There were some that were laughing and others that seemed scared by the animals. Amy couldn't help but smile at the scene and Ricky did the same. Instinctively Amy placed her hand on her abdomen. The baby was starting to kick.

"Is she moving?"

"Yeah, she's full of excitement."

"What about you?"

"Honestly I'm getting pretty tired."

"Do you want me to take you home? I don't mind."

"Are you sure, what about Grace? I mean I know you broke up but you did come with her right?"

"Her father is picking her up. Come on let me give you a ride," Ricky said.

"Okay let me just text Ben to let him know I'm leaving."

Rather than tell Ben that she was going home with Ricky, she simply told him that her mother was here and that she was leaving.

As they walked to Ricky's car they both had a flashback of the night before; Friday evening.

(Ricky's Flashback)

After Ricky had his session with Dr. Steele, the first stop before heading home was at Grace's. After everything he had just confessed to himself as well as his shrink, he knew that the one person above all others that deserved honesty was Grace. She might not like what he had to say but he was not going to leave her hanging as he had done with other girls in his past.

When the two of them were in the living room Ricky stood up not sure on how to start this conversation. He knew it would hurt her but at the same time he had no choice.

"So what did you want to talk about," asked Grace. "Your phone call sounded urgent, everything okay?"

"I don't want to do this to you, Grace: I don't want to be that guy. And to be honest you can do so much better than me."

"Is this your way of breaking up with me?"

"Yeah," Ricky said looking directly at her.

Grace just shook her head. Nowhere had she expected this. She was happy with Ricky and she thought he was happy with her too. Grace suddenly knew what was going on.

"Is this because of Amy?"

"Amy- no, this doesn't have anything to do with Amy," Ricky replied harshly.

"Sure it does. I mean maybe I should have put it together sooner because you've been spending a lot more time with her lately but it has everything to do with her."

"Amy and I are just friends."

"It's more than that after all she is having your baby."

"That's low Grace, even for you. Amy might be having my baby but my daughter is not the reason why I'm in-," Ricky stopped himself.

"In what- in love with her," Grace finished. "Are you in love with Amy?"

"I have to go," Ricky said not wanting to have this conversation with her. "I'm sorry Grace," Ricky said to her.

Grace shook her head, "Don't be, I mean you're doing what I always ask right: you're just being honest. We can still go to the harvest festival tomorrow though right, just as friends."

"Yeah," Ricky said. "I'd like that."

(Amy's Flashback)

Amy and Ben were sitting at her dining room table doing homework.

"Are okay?" Ben asked. Amy simply nodded. "It's just that you haven't really said anything all night."

"Guess I just have a lot on my mind," she said not looking at him.

"Did I do something? If I did, I'm sorry. Whatever it is, I'm an idiot and I didn't mean to do anything that made you upset with me."

"No Ben, you didn't do anything wrong. I've just- I've had a lot on my mind lately."

"Is that all because whatever it is, you can tell me. You know that right?"

Amy nodded. She knew that she had to tell Ben what was on her mind and not leave him hanging. The only problem with that was that he had been so great to her these past few months and she was afraid she would hurt him. No doubt Ben would be hurt and Amy didn't want that. Yet at the same time she did not want part of the life she was living now.

"Ben, can we talk about us?"

"Uh-oh, by the sound of your voice it doesn't sound good. It's not good news is it?"

"You've been a great person Ben and I appreciate everything you've done for me-," Amy said before Ben cut her off.

"But," he said.

"You don't deserve any of this Ben; you don't deserve a girlfriend who is pregnant by someone else. It's not fair to you."

"Life isn't fair, Amy. I love you, don't push me away."

"I just need time Ben."

"Is that what you need or do you need slicky Ricky?"

"What does he have to do with this?"

"Everything apparently aside from the obvious," said Ben. Ben suddenly slapped himself recognizing his mistake.

"I can't believe you just said that."

"I know, I'm sorry, I guess I'm just a little jealous."

"Of Ricky," Amy asked.

"It's just that you've been spending so much time with him lately. I know it's only because of the baby but still."

Amy just shook her head. As always, Ben was wrong about her reasons. Sure maybe at first the reason they were spending time together was because of their daughter but now it was becoming more than that as much as she wanted to deny it.

"Ben, I just think we need to take a break. I'm just overwhelmed right now and to be honest I'm not even sure I want to get married. Right now what I need to do is focus on being a mom to my baby. I can't focus on being a wife too."

Ben looked away; hurt. He then started packing up his stuff. "I don't want us to be over, Amy but I also know I can't talk you out of this. If you ever change your mind, I'm around."

"I'm so sorry Ben."

Ben shook his head, "Don't be. How can I be mad if you're just telling me what you want? I might not like it but at the same time I don't want you to regret anything else in your life. Let me just ask you something: do you love him?"

"I don't know, maybe."

Ben nodded, "Okay. If its fine by you, can we still go to the harvest festival tomorrow, even if it's just as friends?"

"Sure, I'd like that."

"Great, then I'll pick you up tomorrow and if you want to go home early you can just call your mom to pick you up."

"Sounds like a plan."

~*~*~*~*~

When Ricky and Amy arrived at her house, Ricky walked her to the front door.

"This night turned out to be," Amy started.

"Not what you expected," Ricky said finishing her sentence. "I didn't expect the night to go like this either."

"Should that be weird for us?"

Ricky smiled at Amy knowing exactly what she meant. "I guess not," he replied. "I had a fun time with you tonight, Amy."

"Yeah, I had a fun time with you tonight too, Ricky."

Ricky gently moved Amy's hair behind her ear and then leaned into kiss her. Instead of pulling away, Amy let herself into his kiss full force. She had not felt this way since their night at band camp and now in this moment she had forgotten how much she longed for it; for Ricky's hand touching her hair to the touch of his lips on hers.

As magical as the moment was, the baby chose an unfortunate time to start moving. Amy pulled back a little startled and all Ricky could do was smile. Ricky took Amy's face in his hands.

"I love you, Amy, I mean that."

"I know you do, I love you too Ricky."

"Sorry it took me so long to admit it."

"Don't be, you came around eventually right?"

"Yeah and so did you. I'll call you tomorrow okay." Amy simply nodded, "Well, goodnight Amy."

"Goodnight, Ricky."

Amy watched Ricky get into his car and drive off and she couldn't help but smile; a smile that was genuine and true in a way she had not smiled in a long time and afterwards walked inside her home.


End file.
